If I hear....again, I'll.....

We've all been there, you know, to the point where there is that one phrase that if you hear it again you'll live out the daydream sequence that we all have imagined at some point.  I'm talking about when you're mother says, why don't you go back to school and finish your nursing degree?  Or, honey are those clothes appropriate for your body type?  We all have at least one phrase that could send us over the edge.  I am at the point right now where I could just let everything out that I've held in for 15 years.  I want so badly to tell my mother that I am 29, a wife, mother of three, and quite capable of making my own decisions.  
Now, don't get me wrong and think that I don't love and respect her, it's just that I've heard it so many times that I can't take it anymore.  I don't hear you saying that to my sister who got her teaching degree and never once taught in her own classroom.  For goodness sakes, she spent thousands on school and I spent only $1500 due to it being a technical college and scholarships.  
Does my mother know deep down that I'm smart, capable, and good at what I do, or is she ashamed of me for quitting so closely to getting a degree of some sort?

Why this rant today?  I rant because I am tired of ones around us influencing our decisions by guilt, manipulation, or some other hidden way that we have yet to realize.  I see too many people sitting stagnant because they're afraid of being the black sheep, outcast, different one, or one that possibly ruins a family tradition.  It is time for our generation of young mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers to rise up and take charge of our own lives.  

I personally choose to follow God's will for my life and love to LIVE with a sense of purpose, not duty.  If I want to help people each day in some way, I find a way, however it may not bring in the money.  It is time for us to take control of our lives, listen to what God is telling us and calling us to do, and make a positive step in that direction each day; even when it looks ridiculous to ones around us. 

No matter what you believe, who you listen to, or what your passion

One of my passions is my kids and all the crazy that comes with them!

is, follow your dreams.  It's never too late to start, but someday it will be the finish, so let's start the race before it ends so we can fulfill each of our destiny.

Here's to finding your passion and running with it!

mommy makeover??

I am at a point right now where I just want a makeover.  My hair is dreary and blah, my make-up is the same old look all the time, and my clothes are too comfortable to be cute most of the time.  They say new moms shouldn't sit around in yoga pants all day, but why wear pants that must make me feel bad about myself?  I buy things bigger when it comes to pants so my belly doesn't stand out because I feel there is nothing worse than people not understanding their body types and making themselves look bigger than they are.  I starting buying new pieces one at a time and am beginning to reinvent myself when it comes to style, but my question is, how?  I am on a budget and I have 3 kids, one of which I still carry in a car seat so heals and cuteness don't feel so great or look that graceful either.  I mean, come on, you can look hot and sexy until you fall over due to wearing heels that are way to thin and tall for you, do you follow me? I see some chicks that aren't dealing with kids that look like they're walking on glass.  Do you think that is hot?  I'll answer that for you, NO!  So, are flats out and heels in, or is comfy style ok whithin reason? 
Soon I am starting DDP yoga with my husband so hopefully my slight belly won't be an issue much longer.  I'll keep you posted about how that goes. 

Happy parenting to you!


Lisa

Robot Mom

As you may know, I am a mother of three wonderful children.  What you may not know is that I feel like a robot sometimes.  As a parent, it seems as though we get into a routine which often becomes so natural that we don't think, we just do it.  Some would say that is a good thing, but for me, it has a downside.  I am the type of person that likes to live my life and enjoy everything that I do, not just observe.  I try to soak in every adorable moment with my infant and near 3yr. old, but then still have the near 7yr. old to spend time with.  I adore all of my children and am so grateful to have such smart, cute, and caring kids, but I often find that I am just going through the motions and supressing vital emotions throughout my days.
Take for example, this week already...(it's only Tuesday)....I am already not feeling so great thanks to being a female and the things that come along with it, my son has been sick for a week and he not so conveniently forgets to cover his mouth, blow his nose, or wash his hands on a regular basis, so I am annoyed and disgusted at the germs being spread....I am somewhat germophobic.  Taking all that into account, our finances are shot.  I mean there is NO MONEY until Friday with the exception of a small child support payment that will go straight to my gas tank since I am on E yet again.  I want to enjoy time with my young girls, but when the 3 month old is screaming due to teething, the 2 year old wants to play, and I am trying to get my son to do his 4 days worth of homework due to being home sick from school, I just don't have it in me to play "happy mommy". 
This brings me to my robot mom point.  I am so run dry, worn out, frustrated, depressed, and angry about things but I can't even express my feelings in the right way.  I had pushed them so far down to be a good mom that I couldn't even access them to process them.  I just want to have a good cry and get it all out, but it's like I can't let my own guard down long enough to cry it out.  I am always thinking that I don't have time to feel emotions because my daughter needs breakfast, another needs a diaper, and the house needs cleaned. 
When is it ok to throw in the towel and admit that I am not a super mom?  I don't want to seem incapable, weak, or lazy to my husband or anyone else I may ask for help or just talk to, so I become a robot that does what she's expected to do and doesn't ask questions or stop for a minute. 
Oh, and to top it all off, I was getting the girls out of the van after taking my son to the bus stop and slid on the drive way while holding my 2 year old.  I hurt my leg and backside in the process, along with soaking my pants and freezing my tail off in the snow. 
When does the chaos end?  Is it possible to be the best mom I can be, have a clean house, a social life, a healthy relationship with God, a healthy relationship with my husband, and volunteer my time at church or wherever else?  Why would God give me the desire to do things if I can't handle all of the responsibility?  I want to be the best at what I do, but maybe I just need to be the best ME I can be and accept that for what it is.  I want to be what God called me to be and nothing else.  I want people to see the Jesus in me, not the just the mom in me.  I want to be taken seriously and respected as a person, not just a mom who is good at juggling things....does that make sense to anyone?  If you relate, please feel free to comment.  Good luck to you all and God bless!