when the pot calls the kettle black

I am currently in an odd situation.  I have primary custody of my son who is supposed to see his dad every other weekend and holiday.  I have been more than nice and compliant with his childish demands.  I have also put up with his smart comments, rude behavior, and disrespect.  He was ordered by the court to pay $160/month in child support, yet I am luck to receive $100 every 3-4 months.  He lies on his taxes, meaning he is paid under the table as he is his own co-boss.  He expects me to take our son the full 6 hours round trip every 2 weeks and he does the return trip, which would seem fair because the contract stated that we split the financial responsibility of travel.  He is also responsible for his health insurance which he has never paid.  We pay for everything, school, clothes, toys, extras, etc..as a parent should.  Why should I be required to waste 6 hours of my busy day traveling when I could give him $15 bucks and make him travel the whole way?  Legally I could offer that, but he won't give in.  I have done that in the past and kept the text messages of him refusing my money.  I am tired of him thinking he can make all the rules.  I have primary custody and I reserve the right to make decisions that are best for my son.  His dad says I am insensitive, mean, and a bad mom.  He says if I can't afford him (because I ask for child support every 6 months) then he will just take him.  He can't pay the support, how does he think he will support him?  Maybe if he put more effort into his son then his girlfriend and her 3 kids, I would trust him more.  I am so frustrated with controlling, mean, bossy, manipulative men.  I refuse to be a victim of his bullying.  I need to do what's best for us all and that is standing up for myself and not letting him control me anymore.  My husband is supportive, but not involved in the drama as of yet, but I think he is about to step in.  I have been nice and tried to be the bigger person, but it's gotten me nowhere.  I pray for his father and them all quite often and I just want my prayers answered.  I want peace and I want my son to see his father in Heaven. 

True to you

Today my son got picked up by his father who gets him about once a month for a week or so.  In seeing him again, it immediately brings up old issues.  Why is it that I care so much about what people think?  I mean, I was self conscious of my home and how it looked because we're in the process of moving.  Things were thrown everywhere and it was a mess.  I immediately thought about what he was thinking.  Why should it matter?  When we were together, the house was never clean enough for him.  He always had a problem with what I did.  So, my question today is, why do we care about what others think?  No matter who you are or who your person or people are that you want to impress, I want to know, why do we care?  Chime in please. 

society

Is anyone else ever bothered by celebs or contributors to all these news shows?  When asked how to deal with stress, these moms say, oh just give the kids to someone and go treat yourself to a spa day.  The contributors give us great vacation ideas where the rooms are "only" 300 a night.  Even if we could go on that vacation, we would just sit around counting our money to make sure we could afford to  eat.  We couldn't afford any excursions, let alone a nanny.  Who has access to a nanny, or even family members who will just take the kids?  I get so discouraged by what's on tv these days because we glorify fame, money, extravagant things, etc. It's like people with money don't know how to relate to the real world.  Why not try to relate by giving real advice, such as going for a walk outside, getting out of your normal setting, etc. I guess my frustration is with the fact that they make us middle classers feel so lame when we can't afford the things they're suggesting.  What ever happened to good old family values?  When did tropical vacations start defining who we are?  Why is the size of our house or cost of our cars so important? 
When will we realize that wealth comes from the people around us and how we treat those people?  It's about our legacy, not our assets.